Astrology Explored

February 24, 2008

When do you know when a horoscope column in a newspaper is fake? What do you do about it?

This astrologer had a surreal experience this week when I picked up a local rag, and read in disbelief the astrology column that was in it. It was garbage, total nonsense. For instance, Gemini was advised to go around and spontaneously hug everyone. I don’t know about where you live, but here in the heart of politically correct Yankee land, that advice can land you with an assault charge. Since I knew the editor of the paper, (who doesn’t know me as an astrologer) I paid a little visit to the offices of the newspaper.

“Who writes your astrology,” I asked?

“Well, that would be our Creative Director, over there.”

“I’d like to talk to him.”

“That would be cool.”

I go over to the Creative Director. The black t-shirted Creative Director looks like he rode to work on in on his Harley in the middle of the Connecticut winter sans leather jacket. He had a red bandana tied around his head and tats up and down both arms.

“I read your astrology column. Are you an astrologer?”

“Well, no, not really. I just sort of “channel” the information . . . creatively.”

“I can tell. What happened to the last service you used?”

“Well, it talked too much about financial stuff.” He shrugged his shoulders, because obviously a twenty something man whose sole asset is a Harley doesn’t need to worry about financial matters.

“Well, I am an astrologer” I said, “And it was obvious to me that your column didn’t have a bit of astrology in it.”

“Well, maybe you should write it,” he said humoring me.

“Well, maybe I should. I write a column for one of the other local newspapers.” Ever prepared, I gave him some samples of my work. “I also blog on a network.” I then gave him the address. “How many words do you want and when is the deadline?”

“I’ll get back to you.”

On so many levels I am outraged that my profession is so little thought of that , “Well hey, we’re not going to use that astrology service anymore, so we’ll just write it ourselves”.

If he doesn’t take me up on my kind and generous offer, I’m am just going to have to take it to the next level, though I’m not sure exactly what that would be. What would you do?

And not that I have a sense of humor about horoscopes in general. Below is Weird Al Yankovic’s song “This is Your Horoscope for Today” doing what he does best, making us laugh at our own foibles. And he doesn’t represent himself as something he isn’t

astrology, zodiac, horoscopes, fake horoscopes, Weird Al Yankovic