Father of Lies, The Manipulative Personality
October 2, 2007
Yesterday we spoke about some of the traits of an abusive personality.
“batterers display common traits such as controlling, manipulative behavior, a lack of a sense of responsibility for their actions, and an inability to see how their behavior affects others.�
In the heady rush of a new relationship, women may ignore or downplay the warning signs of a potential abusive partner. Abusers are manipulators, expert at projecting the image they want to portray. While they have difficulty feeling the emotions of love, they have expertly learned the ways to simulate it. In the beginning of a relationship, the abusive man will lavish attention on the woman, sweeping her off her feet with fairy tale expressions of love. Like most things about this man, none of this is real. He has no clue on how to actually love someone. But he does have needs, infantile ones to be sure, but real and pressing, to be loved himself. However, since his capacity for love is stunted he is unable to love a woman in a adult way, expecting the all encompassing mother love to come from the woman. This child like expectation of love fits badly on an adult man, because like a child he does not expect to give back anything substantial to sustain an adult relationship.
In a part of this man’s head, he realizes that something isn’t right, that in real ways he doesn’t measure up to being an adult man. Because he doesn’t understand what is going on, he’ll ignore it, frightened of his own inadequacies and terrified to face them.
Once the rush of romance is gone the woman realizes something is off. She can’t quite place it. When she questions him the relationship changes. Now he is invested in keeping what he has, and he’ll do that in any way he can. He’ll do anything to cover is inadequacies, he’ll:
Deny anything is wrong
Questions her judgement
Tells her she is stupid and/ or crazy
Accuse her of cheating on him
Blame her for the problem
The game of confusion, decept and obfuscation has begun, When the woman tries to “fix� the relationship, eventually she realizes she is not the problem. Further challenged the man may resort to physical violence to “keep her in her place.�
Astrologically, manipulation is linked with the planet Pluto and the sign of Scorpio. But, Scorpios as a sign are far from the majority of abusers. However, any astrologer who is comparing your chart to your potential lover should take note of Pluto aspects between your chart and his and evaluate the potential for manipulation and deception. If the possibilties for these behaviors are high, you should tread with caution. Fairy tale romances are for fairy tales. Real lifeCinderellas need to take time to really get to know their Prince Charming.
Read more about the characteristics of abusive men:
astrology, Pluto domestic violence
Check out these other great 451 Press blogs talking about Domestic Violence:
About Honolulu, Hiwaii
Parenting and Religion
Marital Talk
Life As A Christian Woman
Her Daily News
About San Jose
Watching Bionic Woman
Watching BSG
Limited Edition Foods
1PStart
Radical Avenue
Earthly Garden
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October 3rd, 2007 at 5:09 am
[...] mentioned in yesterday’s post, an abusive man is a master manipulator drawing in women under the guise of the Prince [...]