Astrology Explored

October 15, 2007

There are a ton of sites telling you what you should wear for Halloween. This one is going to use the sun signs to tell you what you are going to end up wearing.

Fires signs, Aries, Leo and Sagittarius men are far too busy to actually pick out a costume. Instead they delegate this task to their significant others, and then complain that the costume is too stupid, silly or dull to wear. They will dig up that silly hard hat that let’s them siphon off beer from two cans on either side of their heads, put on a flannel shirt and some jeans and calls themselves construction workers. Fire sign women will dress up as movie stars, of course.

The earth signs men, Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn secretly envy their fire sign friends’ chutzpah, but opt instead to go out as either policemen, firemen or some version of gun toting hunter or cowboy. The real naughty ones will dress up as sailors and then try to act the part. The women opt for Fairy Princess, Cinderella or Snow White, and then wonder why the sailor boys are trying to pick them up.

The water sign men, Cancer, and Pisces, don’t bother to ask their significant others to get a costume, nor do they pick one up themselves. They usually forget there is party to go to until they get home from work and see their honey decked out in full regalia. These are the people who poke holes in the bed sheets and call themselves ghosts, or wrap a towel around their waist and call themselves Egyptians. If the wife gets to them before they can deface the bed sheets, they’ll wrap it around themselves, calling it a toga, then give a fine display of ‘roman fingers all night long. The only exception to this is Scorpio, who still, after all these years, gets a kick out of their vampire cape and teeth, which they always have on hand for those special occasions. The women will dress up as Playboy bunnies, Vampira, Mistress of the Dark or a saucy medieval barmaid.

The air signs, Gemini, Libra and Aquarius give a lot of thought to their costumes, but that’s about it. At the last minute they’ll call their water sign friends to get some ideas, and after their wives and honeys pull the scissors out of their hands, make a quick run to K-Mart, Wal-Mart or that temporary costume store on the corner, spend way too much money for the last costume on the shelf and then expect their significant other to be the butt end of a horse or cow. After that idea is nixed, they will wrap themselves in cellophane, or in the case of Aquarius, tin foil, and spend an uncomfortable evening dealing with the consequences of their costume choice. The women will dress up in some version of magical creature, be it fairy, sprite, or angel, which they would have to be after spending an evening dealing with all this nonsense.

Maybe you should check out these 451 sites and get some ideas for your costumes now:

Watching Battlestar Galactica–How to Make a Cylon Jackolatern
Tom Cruise Watch–Tom Cruise costumes
Watching CSI–Dress Like A CSI for Halloween
Reviewing Baby Gear–Costumes for Baby

Happy Halloween!

astrology, zodiac, Halloween costumes