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Is He or Isn’t He?

by Beth Turnage

November 26, 2007
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My life is in turmoil. What is in the future for me? My birthday if May 6 1944 I was born at 12:50 am.I am ready to move on what should I do. I am married to a Cancer July 6 1945. Thanks–T

Relationships with men have always been a challenge for you. You are attracted to powerful, take charge individuals, by virtue of your sun, your planet of communications, Mercury and Venus in Taurus in challenge aspect to your planet of transformation, Pluto.

Your moon in Libra in challenge aspect to your Mars in Cancer say that you tend to (and like to) be submissive in your relationships, giving much of yourself and asking little. What you desire is the traditional role of wife and mother, with a man to provide the finances and the stability for you to fill this role. The crux of the problem is that you expect your husband to fulfill his end of the bargain, and right now he is not.

Now with transiting Venus sitting on your Moon, there is at least the suspicion (or you have knowledge of) of an affair that your husband might be having. You want me to confirm if this is true, or if it true, whether or not the marriage is going to survive this storm.

I am not going to put a definitive “period” on this question. Your suspicions are aroused, but this isn’t the first time. It is part of your nature to question the actions and motives of your partner, and to be jealous. Understand that this is an aggravating factor in the situation you find yourself now.

Marriages can survive infidelities, but not without work on both partners. Whether or not you are the injured party is beside the point. The anger that comes part and parcel of betrayal can sour what is left of the relationship and ruin any hope of reconciliation. Even if the matter was settled now, with your husband firmly back in the nest, your tendency to make him pay for what happened will only end badly for both of you.

The issues that are the bedrock of the problems between you and your husband go beyond the scope of a few paragraphs in an advice column. It is important that you take action and do it now, because you have a lot of work ahead of you. Why do I say this? Because, it is my feeling, that an important part of your soul development is handling this crisis in the best way possible. My recommendation is that you seek the services of a qualified relationship therapist. Tell your husband that you are having some problems and need his help by going with you. If he refuses, go alone.

I realize that this is not the answer you expected. Trust me, problems do not go away on their own. We need to take an active role in their resolution. Ultimately, I believe this the lesson you need to learn, and having done so, will leave you feeling much better about your life. God Bless.


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