Astrology Explored

May 5, 2008

[The following letter is edited, with some personal details deleted--BT]

I need some advice please. 
 
Here are my details:
-  Born in Cape Town, South Africa
-  25 April 1978
-  Not sure on time I was born
 
I have been unsuccessful in a few relationships and really need advice, as I think some of the problems are being caused by me.  My last boyfriend I had (or still have ) have lots of communication problems, among other things. 
 
Here are a few of issues we went through:
-  We did see each other so 9 or 10 months back but I broke it off when I started getting phone calls at odd times in the evening.  This person wanted to know who I was and what was my name or would just keep quiet.
-  I broke our friendship off after he, on a few occasions made me wait and never pitched.  This also got to complicated with that “girl” and I knew in my gutt that, that was his girlfriend or something.
-  About 3 months back he started contacting me again and said he wanted to start a relationship with me. 
-  Wasn’t long before things started to get weird again.
 

  *  He would say he is coming through to my house and then never did
  *  When he did come over he would suddenly leave the Sunday morning and would ask me to be patient and trust him and that he would be back.  -  We have never spend any proper time together and done things that both of us like.  Only time I do see him is if he sleeps over and then leaves early morning again.  Have asked him for 1 day during the month where we could do something and he is just not giving in and giving me that day to spend with him.
-  He is a busy guy and I have to be satisfied with the times he has layed out for us.  I feel like I am just another appointment to him when he doesn’t have anything else to do.
 
Two days ago I wrote him a letter and told him it is over between us.  I can’t keep competing with his busy schedule and wait around till he decides it time for us to meet up again.  Also told him, he is selfish with his time and I have never been in a relationship where I had so much stories upon stories from someone who wanted to be with me and in love with me. 
 
I don’t know if I miss him or if I am just missing him because I got use to us smsing and phoning each other.  After that letter he had another fight with me and he said he does understand but that I just want, want, want him to be around me all the time.  I totally lost it… that is totally the opposite what I want.  I like me space and quiet time and don’t want anyone in my space 24/7 and only wanted 1 “activity” day with him. 
 
I see we have our problems because he doesn’t know me and us not spending time together has made matters worse.
  
Can you perhaps give me advice on how to deal with this situation and with him?  Maybe I must just realise that he isn’t the match for me and move on… I’m not sure if we are meant to be together or what is going on and I hate being confused.

Answer: What you want is your boyfriend to conform to your idea of what you want in a relationship. Unfortunately, this is not how relationships work, no matter how reasonable your requests may be.

You both have very different needs in relationships. You both come at those needs in the same way, with a starry eyed and romantic view, but you execute those ideas in different ways.

This relationship comes under the heading “Neptunian Relationships”. There is quite a bit of games playing and deception involved in Neptunian relationships. In the beginning its all candlelight and romance, but in the harsh light of day, all that romance is cold comfort when you are alone in your bed.

Of course he isn’t going to let go. He is a Cancer. They don’t let go. Does this mean he will treat you in the manner in which you deserve? He’s got three planets in Leo, one of them Saturn (as your Saturn is in Leo also). He is selfish. Get that. Also, this man has mommy issues up the yin yang. He is not going to let a woman control him. Period. End of story. Anything that smacks of control like the innocent “Let’s spend the day together” just isn’t going to fly. His Moon is in Gemini (the sign of the twins) is opposite his Neptune. Until he comes to grips with himself (and this is his job, you can not help him) he is going to cheat, always have something on the side. 

You deserve better and you are better off starting from scratch. Take some time and decide what you need from a relationship and pick someone who will fulfill those needs. You have tendency to fall in love with love yourself, and end up with people who appear interested in you at first but who are just interested in getting what they can. Then you wonder why it all goes south.

Be true to yourself. It just is the only way

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